women who "hover" over public toliets.

I can still remember being a young girl in the burbs going out for a Sunday with my grandmother. My grandmother was the over protective type that insisted on following me everywhere. Like if we were at the mall and I walked to a different clothing rack I would hear my name being called in a panicked fashion. Clearly I must have been stolen.

In our many adventures it would not be uncommon to have to use the little girls room and she would insist that we share a bathroom stall. I would go to sit down and she would say *gasp* "NO-- don't sit down on the seat... its so dirty!" My little legs didn't give me quite enough bow room to do "the hover" or squat so I would fall on the seat and get upset. She insisted that even though I couldn't hover, I needed to wash my hands "right away!" I'm not sure how that helped the fact that my ass was tainted by the dirty seat, but I scrubbed my hands as much as possible.

There we even a few times that she would go in front of me with her perfected hover and I would watch in confused awe as her piss would spray all over the toilet seat. Wasn't this how the seats got dirty in the first place?

Id just like to say to all the women out there that feel their asses are too good to place on a public toilet seat, that YOU are the reason public restrooms are nasty!! Why do you need to spray your piss all over the seat and beyond?? Is it a way of marking your territory? In all my many shit-ass jobs, the women's restrooms that were the worst were the ones at the upper class establishments. Why is this? Do rich people think that their precious, overly fed, spoiled asses are too pristine to sit down on a toilet seat??

Please, I know you rich bitches have had more nasty shit up up or on your asses then a little bulk toilet cleaner and the shadow of the ass before. Are you worried about catching an STD? Do we need to go back to health class to explain how this works?

If nasty ho A. rubs her infested cooter on the toilet rim and then nasty ho B. tries to rub her cootch on the same spot... like tries to insert it... then maybe...JUST MAYBE... something can be transferred.

Moral of this blog: SIT THE FUCK DOWN TO PEE! or at least wipe up your piss-mist after.

--Twisted Panty